[opening theme music]
Somebody please cue that bird.
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats Oooh yeah♪
♪ Who do you call When you want some pepperoni?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Right on!♪
♪ They're stepping out crime♪
♪ And you know That ain't baloney♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche He's the leader of the bunch♪
♪ That's right! A heck of a fighter♪
♪ Makes a heck of a lunch.♪
♪ And little Polly Esther♪
♪ Who's never afraid That's me!♪
♪ Of going into battle When the bad guys invade.♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovis A wild romantic rover.♪
♪ This cat gets down down With a love hangover♪
♪ Here come the Pizza Cats They're so bad.♪
♪ They've got more fur Than any turtle ever had!♪
♪ They're stronger Than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than dirt♪
♪ Step on their tails♪
♪ Get off my tail♪
♪ And you're gonna get hurt Don't hurt me♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town♪
♪ Four, three, two, one♪
♪ The Pizza Cats Are on the run♪
♪ The Big Cheese is the villain Who's lower than low.♪
♪ It's a rotten shame He lives in Little Tokyo.♪
♪ We've got a nasty Bad Bird And some nasty Ninja Crows.♪
♪ As soon as someone finds The script♪
♪ We might begin the show.♪
♪ Sit back and rest your feet And turn the sound up high♪
♪ And if you want The full effects♪
♪ Go eat a pizza pie♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
[narrator] As we begin another exciting episode of--
- Hey, I'm talking here. -[bird squawking]
I'm squawking. [laughing]
So sue me.
[narrator] As I was saying, the Samurai Pizza Cats
are as usual fighting heroically.
[Speedy] He's not so tough, got get 'em Polly.
[Polly] He all yours Guido.
[Guido] Hit 'em where hurts baby.
[Speedy] I'll pick him apart Polly.
[Polly] You tear him up, Guido.
Now those Samurai Pizza Cats shall be annihilated.
Once and for all.
Fire potatoes thrusters!
[Speedy, Polly and Guido scream]
Here kitty, kitty.
[Speedy, Polly and Guido grunting]
You ain't seen nothing yet.
You guys think that the potato was tough?
Wait to see the deadly noodles.
Eat hot soup.
[Speedy screams]
[Guido grunts]
[Speedy and Guido screaming]
Speedy, Guido, come on help me! [grunts]
We got to catch him. [grunts]
She should be running away!
-What's she catching up for? -You got me.
My mom always told me: 'Polly never waste food.'
You wanna play rough, do ya. That's all right with me.
Now you're gonna get the worst head cold you ever have.
[suspenseful music]
[Speedy moaning] Someone call my agent
this isn't in my contract.
[Speedy, Guido and Polly] Don't get the wrong idea folks
we're just trying to keep warm.
A got a hand it to the Bad Bird he's doing a bang up job.
He's put the Samurai Pizza Cats out of action.
My plan is working, if we're lucky
-they'll catch pneumonia. -What?
In case you've forgotten it was my idea
and lucky had nothing to do with it.
[Big Cheese] You're right dear, don't be silly
only I could come up with a plan as brilliant as this.
-Yeah. -[Big Cheese] We'll turn
the Pizza Cats into popsicles.
Yes! And then they'll call it 'The Big Cheese Show'
and I'll get a raise.
In your next life.
[Bad Bird] How you're doing Pizza Cats, cold enough for ya?
[Bad Bird laughing]
I just love the snow, don't you?
If we don't get warm soon we won't stand a chance.
The Great Catatonic is gonna have to help us out on this one.
[theme music]
Hey, what's going on here? What's that?
[theme music continues]
[Speedy] Samurai...
[Speedy, Guido and Polly] Pizza Cats!
This is ridiculous
those Pizza Cats should've been frozen
but they transformed themselves into that giant robot.
What's their secret?
[narrator] Little does the Big Cheese realize
that the origin of Pizza Cats Samurai power
is at the top of Mount Coochie,
one of the coldest places on earth.
I should've known.
[Speedy] While Guido and Polly attack
with the robot, I'll perform a flanking maneuver.
[narrator] The sharp eye of Speedy has seen something
that might help the Pizza Cats defeat--
[Speedy] Wrong! What the sharp eye Speedy has seen is money.
[narrator] Sorry folks, my mistake.
[Speedy] Wow! A hundred bucks.
Oh not that such a piddly some means anything
to a big star like me.
But you know what they say: waste not want not.
[Guido] Well Polly, what now?
Let's go get him.
It's slash time.
[Speedy screams]
[loud explosion]
[Bad Bird screaming]
And another one for the good guys.
-Yeah! -[Polly and Guido sighs]
[Speedy] I think we finally got him.
-[Speedy sipping] Wise. -[both] Shell shock.
[Big Cheese] Not again! [loud explosion]
My sentiments exactly.
Shut up Jerry can't you see I've got a headache?
[Junior] All right, faster! [screaming]
You having as much fun as I'm?
No.
Out of the way!
Coming through!
Those Samurai Pizza Cats are real heroes.
Did you hear what they did?
The Big Cheese attacked Little Tokyo
with robots and the cats destroyed them.
As long as we have the Pizza Cats to protect us
the Big Cheese doesn't stand a chance.
I've never seen the Pizza Cat, have you?
Wonder what they look like.
[Speedy laughs] I shouldn't let their compliments go to my head
but I just love it when they talk like that.
[Big Cheese] No! [loud explosion]
Yep, my sentiments exactly.
It just isn't fair, they always win.
Why do I always have to be the loser?
They beat us time after time
and all we end up doing is making them more popular.
I hate to mention this
but I think that's what we're getting paid for.
I wanna a new contract.
-Call my agent. -Hey!
How about this: What if we want to disguise ourselves
and look just like them?
They get payed for whatever we did
and everyone would hate them.
I got an idea!
Let's disguise ourselves as Pizza Cats
so they get blame for everything we do.
You know, it's the oddest thing
I could've sworn I just said that.
I guess you're right after all,
I am getting old,
I can't remember things the way I used to.
Since you think of all the good ideas
I'm not needed any longer.
-I ought to retire. -Whether your needed or not
I'll always want you with me Jer.
You'll come up with the good ideas
and I'll take all the credit.
Is there an animated characters rest home?
[crowd talking]
[Big Cheese laughing]
[both gasp]
[Big Cheese] Ladies and Gentlemen
introducing the one and only world famous
and universally renowned: Samurai Pizza Cats!
I'm Guido with the parasol of doom.
I'm Polly Esther,
and I just love everyone.
They call me Speedy Cerviche
and all of us are Samurai...
[all] Pizza Cats!
-This is terrific! -Golly gee wilikers!
[animal] Those [indistinct] suits must've cost a bundle.
[animal 2] Morass maybe
but superheroes never pay retail.
[all gasp] Those look like grenades.
[crowd mumbling and screaming]
Here we go, a special delivery Pizza Cats style
direct from us to all of you.
[crowd screaming]
[Big Cheese laughing] I haven't had this kind of fun
since I glued a banana peel to the end of grandfather's crotch.
[crowd screaming and mumbling]
Just imagine my surprise,
they expect ladies superheroes to pay
for their food like everyone else.
[narrator] Meanwhile Bad Bird is looking for ways to keep busy.
-[girl screaming] -Hey honey, how are you doing?
Hey I gotta act like Guido Anchovy,
is this what he do?
No! I gotta do the opposite of what he do.
Then they'll think he's no good.
You can understand my confusion.
-[girl screaming] -Come on baby, let's be friends.
-[girl 2 screaming] -Wow, oh boy!
Extra! Superheroes Samurai Pizza Cats
attack innocents citizens.
That's right folks these so-call guardians of justice
have shown us what they really are.
Read all about it.
[crowd mumbling]
That's it! Come and get 'em folks.
These guys are dangerous, who knows what they'll do next.
I've heard they're kicking over garbage cans
all over the city.
Yesterday they attacked a mattress store
and tore up all the tags that say do not remove.
If they're allowed to continue their evil ways
-civilization as we know it -[both] Yes, yeah!
[horse] will follow the dinosaurs into extinction.
-Something is gotta be done! -[both] Yeah!
[narrator] Princess Vi isn't thrilled either.
[Princess Vi] I've had it with those Pizza Cats!
They're just a bunch of juvenile obnoxious
trouble makers and the worse part is that they're getting
all the attention instead of me!
Something is gonna be done, understand?
Send them to the Extras Island!
As usual princess your judgment is unquestionably correct.
I beg to differ,
as I'm sure you recall your majesty, the cats in question
are the guardians of justice law and order.
They haven't done these things.
Someone is trying to frame them.
Don't be ridiculous we have a thousand eyewitnesses,
the Samurai Pizza Cats are guilt
and everyone knows it.
Every one of them is gonna be shipped back to Extras Island,
end of discussion. Understand?
-[Princess Vi panting] -[narrator] As you can see,
the princess is quite an attention getter herself.
[Princess Vi grunts and screams]
Narrators can be replaced you know, just watch it fella.
[narrator] Sorry princess.
Meanwhile by the Pizza Cats' headquarters.
-Have they all gone blind? -[Francine gasps]
Anyone can see that's a Big Cheese,
even if he is dressed like me.
And this is Bad Bird dresses in my custom.
And Jerry Atric just like I am,
but he's so old.
How could anyone has ever thought that that was me?
It's just ridiculous.
Well, it coulda been all those wrinkles.
Or maybe the fact that he's just as moody as you are.
[Speedy and Guido laughing]
-You two are real funny! -[Speedy and Guido screaming]
This is no time to kid around, we've got an emergency here.
Folks have gotta know
that the Pizza Cats didn't do anything.
You're right!
We've gotta find a way to show everyone
it was really Big Cheese and his gang.
No matter what we say,
they'll never believe that we're the ones who did it.
That's gotta be something we can do.
Yeah, but what?
Until you've got a plan stay out of sight.
Princess Vi has ordered her guards to arrest you
and ship you off to Extras Island immediately.
Once you're there there's no way out.
So we gotta come up with a plan.
[Al Dente] The only way to unmask the imposters
is to appear at the same time and place they do
and give them a thrashing.
But how can we know what their plans are?
Or when and where they show up?
-Only one way to find out! -[Francine gasps]
-[Al Dente grunts] -[Polly] How?
[Speedy] Yeah! How?
[Guido] It's easy!
All we gotta do guys is let them tell us.
[Francine] Attention please, hold on to your hats
it's blast up time
and the Pizza Cats are on the way to save the day
so use your earplug, hold you train.
And by the way,
the fish fillet and mushroom is [indistinct] today!
Here we go!
[theme music]
[Junior] Gee mom, you think those naughty Samurai Pizza Cats
are up to something?
No doubt.
They have no other way to spend their time.
This lady is out to lunch.
[Junior sighs] Where are we gonna eat?
[narrator] Meanwhile over at bad guy headquarters...
Isn't it just wonderful?
I haven't felt this good since the pigs ate my sister.
Yeah, your plan is working just as you said it would.
And now the time is right to finish them.
After the parade on this Thanksgiving Day
those cats won't be able to find a pit to pause in. [laughing]
Thanksgiving Day.
[all grunt]
[crowd mumbling]
[loud explosion] [both] What was that?
What's going on?
[Big Cheese laughing]
We just love to cause trouble. We're the Samurai...
[all] Pizza Cats!
And we hate Thanksgiving Day parade
so we're gonna stop this one right now.
I'll fire in 10 seconds.
[crowd screaming]
[Big Cheese laughs]
[loud explosion] [Big Cheese moaning]
[crowd mumbling]
-[grunts] What was that? -Where did come from?
[Speedy] Listen folks those guys are a bunch of phoneys.
The real Samurai Pizza Cats are here to prove it to ya.
They call me Guido and I'm the world's greatest expert
with the sunspot umbrella.
I'm Polly Esther, I use the power of love.
And that will win every time.
Speedy master of the Ginsu sword.
You think we're kidding?
Watch!
[Speedy] Now admit it. Admit you're not
the real Samurai Pizza Cats or suffer the consequences.
How can you prove that you're the real Samurai Pizza Cats?
What kind of evidence have you got?
-Huh? Evidence? -We don't need to prove it.
What we said is the truth that's obvious.
-To anyone. -Now let's just see about that.
Well folks,
are they the real Samurai Pizza Cats or are we?
[all] How the heck should we know?
We've never seen it in person there's no way for us to tell.
[both] I was afraid of that.
[Big Cheese, Jerry and Bad Bird laughing]
[Speedy grunting]
Hey! Look guys Lucille is here.
Tell them Lucille you know
which Samurai Pizza Cats are real and which are phoneys?
Why naturally,
I've known the Samurai Pizza Cats
for a very long time in fact they're my closest friends.
So to me it's quite clear who the real ones are.
[both] And the winner is?
The one with the huge ears.
[crowd gasp]
[Big Cheese laughing]
Oh no Lucille, this is no time to kid around. [screams]
Oh just trying to lighten things up.
Actually, it's the other way around.
-[crowd scream] -[bird] Good joke.
[ostrich] Very funny!
I know the Samurai Pizza Cats anywhere, anytime.
-Thanks Lucille, thanks a lot! -My pleasure.
Oh boy! [moaning]
[crowd mumbling]
[Big Cheese grunts] Fans can be so fickle.
-Switch to plan 'A' Bad Bird. -Got ya.
Ninja Crows, advance!
[crows] One step back two steps forward.
One step back two steps forward.
You get it.
One step back two steps forward.
[Bad Bird] What do you think this is? A dancing lesson?
-[crows grunting] -Prepare to fire!
Activate the laser crow!
I'll turn them into a kitty-butter.
[both] Samurai Cat power!
[crows cawing]
-[Polly screams] -[crows cawing]
[crows cawing and groaning]
What's wrong with you guys?
-Get up and fight! -[Bad Bird grunts]
[gold crow] What are you crows or chicken?
All win this game, you gotta carve your way to the top.
You're a bunch of dumb
Chan Cheng bellied yellow but scary crows.
It seems to me those guys are trying
to make a mockery of everything
the Samurai Pizza Cats stands for.
That's something up with which I'll not put.
A master of the magical Ginsu sword
has certain responsibilities.
[narrator] Looks like he's getting ready
to use his favorite move.
I'll tell you what it's called folks
but I have to let Speedy do that.
- It's in his contract. -[Speedy grunts]
The Cerviche Cat Slash! [screams]
Oh no, not that!
[crows cawing and screaming]
[Bad Bird grunting]
I'll make you wish you were never animated.
[Speedy sighs]
Put your money where your mouth is.
[Guido and Polly] Ta-da!
I knew who the real Pizza Cats were all along,
but why spoil a good fight?
That's why I didn't say anything either.
It sure was fun seeing the Big Cheese
and his gang get trashed like that.
It was almost as good
-as the Tyson and Douglas fight. -[horse and dog laughing]
But Muhammad Ali coulda taken them all.
[narrator] Meanwhile at the Big Cheese residence...
I can't stand it! [grunting]
In that case I would suggest that you sit down.
Idiot you're just making things worse,
-now I'll have to-- -[Jerry Atric] Oh no,
not again. [grunting] [loud explosion]
[narrator] And so once again
the fabulous fighting force of faithful feline defenders
have faced four mentors of fibs fabrications and falsehoods
and defeated the infamous foes
and fairness fidelity and fast food.
The lovely Lucille is the one who really-- [grunts]
[narrator] Why here she is now.
[all screaming] [loud explosion]
[Speedy moaning]
I want him to say 'the lovely Lucille again'
just as soon as he's conscious.
[Lucille chuckling]
[narrator] Ladies and gentleman the Samurai Pizza Cat
fan club oath.
The Pizza Cats are Samurai
and I'd like to note.
Their antics take your breath away.
Like furballs in your throat.
We kittens are special breed, we never call retreat.
[Guido] Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down.
We land upon our feet.
[narrator] So hail to thee, oh Pizza Cat
please ring your little bell.
Although you may be pen and ink
you know you'll fight like...
[all] Pizza Cats!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ We hope you liked the show ♪
♪ It's the best that we could do♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ If you could do better Then we'd leave it up to you♪
♪ Just a reminder You might like to know♪
♪ The cats will be back For another big show♪
♪ Oh gosh.♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime Oh yes♪
♪ All over town.♪
♪ Two, four, six, eight.♪
♪ Why do we expectorate?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Read all the credits♪
♪ So you'll know Who did the work♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪